Dakota Gardener: Tips on watering your garden

Do you remember your first job?

Maybe you were a babysitter or worked at McDonald’s. Maybe you delivered newspapers.

My first job was unusual. I was a trained assassin.

A research company trained me to torture and assassinate sunflowers.

Every day I grew deadly diseases in the laboratory. Every night I would attack the sunflowers with those diseases.

I was taught the key to killing plants...