Grateful at Thanksgiving

We’ve been blessed with beautiful fall days lately. I can’t help but smile as I run around doing errands and buzz from one meeting to another. The only thing that could have made this past week better was spending more time outside.

With our daylight hours dwindling and the temperatures beginning their precipitous drop, I’m choosing not to dwell on the depressing weather that is destined to come. Instead, I’m focusing on the good things (such as this gorgeous weather) and mindfully practicing the art of gratitude.

Dr. Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and one of the world’s leading experts on the science of gratitude, defines gratitude as having two parts.

The first is an affirmation of goodness: we learn to wake up to the good around us and take notice of the gifts we have received.

The second part of gratitude is recognizing that the source of this goodness rests outside of ourselves – that we receive these gifts from other people, a higher power, fate or the natural world.

Through this process of taking notice and identifying the source of good in our lives, we practice gratitude. And Thanksgiving is a perfect time to turn that gratitude into thanks.

I remember going around the table and saying what we were “thankful for” when I was a kid. Family, friendships, food and good fortune were among the most popular answers.

As an adult, I’ve learned that there’s a big difference between saying “thanks to” and “thanks for.” “Make sure you’re giving thanks to something and not for something,” says Paulette Moore, a founding member of The Aunties Dandelion, a media-arts collective informed by Indigenous teachings. As she explained to NPR in a 2022 podcast, being grateful “for” something tends to be vague or general. In contrast, expressing gratitude “to” something or someone implies a direct relationship. It reminds us of our connection with and responsibility to that person or thing.

So here goes. This week I’ve been actively practicing gratitude, and I’ve compiled my thoughts into this column.

I’m grateful to Tawnia, my employee, for helping me see the beauty in every season. I love seeing her posts on Facebook. Her photos of the sunset, harvest and yes, even the snow-capped trees a couple of weeks ago, make me pause a moment and appreciate nature.

That’s easy to do now with the balmy 50 degree days and fiery sunsets we’ve had recently, but I’ll lean on her when my toes and nose are all freezing in the months ahead.

In that vein, I am also grateful to Mother Nature that the first round of white crap did not stay long, and that the farmers had more time to harvest their corn and other row crops before winter weather set in.

I’m also grateful that our family and community get to experience a second state volleyball tournament this weekend. Last year it was a whirlwind, as it was our first three-day state tournament experience as parents and siblings of a player.

I rushed out onto the floor like a kid last Thursday and wrapped my daughter in a long, tearful hug at the end of the region championship game. This time, she was on the court when her team scored the match point.

We all sat at the Eagles Club and chatted over a pizza after the game. We talked to other parents about the game and the week ahead, and then had a chance to celebrate as a family. I’m grateful to Lora for staying longer than any other player so we could have that time together.

Those are the moments I will remember. It reminds me of the times my mom took us to Rosa’s Pizza in Fessenden when I was in high school, after a long night of cheering at a basketball game or to cap off a busy day of running errands and doing laundry. I’m forever grateful to my mom for taking that time.

As we head into the state tournament, I’m grateful to the photographers, Kyrie and Erik, who are helping me capture all the action this weekend. In the newsroom yesterday, the topic of conversation was the distinctly different shooting styles we each display in our photography. I prefer to zoom in and crop tight, and Kyrie likes to get as much action in each shot as possible.

Erik is more deliberate and shoots from a wide variety of angles and distances. He will be the first to shoot, and he will hone in on the perfect camera settings in the dome to ensure success for Kyrie and me in the subsequent matches.

And as soon as the tournament is over, we will shift to Thanksgiving. I’m grateful to my oldest child, for she has offered to prepare the Thanksgiving feast this year. As much as I love to cook, I am relieved to have that task off my to do list.

However, I will likely drop in on her in the kitchen Thanksgiving morning and help her with whatever she needs.

We will also sing grace as a family, as we did on every holiday when I was growing up. I miss having my extended family together, so every Thanksgiving Day I hum “Be Present.” For a brief moment, I’ll be back in my grandparents’ dining room on 2nd St. N in Carrington, and I will feel their presence and hear all their voices in unison.

“Be Present”

by John Cennick

Be present at our table, Lord,

Be here and everywhere adored,

These mercies bless, and grant that we

May feast in Paradise with Thee.

This, dear readers, is my wish for you and yours this Thanksgiving. I’m so very grateful to all of you for your readership and support.