Guest: What I want for Christmas, but won't get

Every year a few weeks before Christmas, my sweet wife asks me what I’d like for Christmas. And every year, I tell her, “Nothing! I’d rather spend our money on the kids,” meaning our three now semi-grown (but fully-spoiled) daughters.

Of course, my noble answer is a huge lie meant to make me seem less Grinchy than I really am. There are lots of things I’d like to have for Christmas, but until our...